Personal Success, Seizures, Depression And Suicide :: essays research papers

Before the age of 15, I was as healthy as anyone could wish to be. In my sophomore year of high school, though, my seizures began. Nobody knew what they were at first they looked as if I was passing out. These episodes as my mom and I were calling them, were finally defined as seizures when a nurse at the hospital saw that during one of my episodes I would clench my jaw close down and my muscles would tighten and shake.Doctors put me on three several(predicate) medications over the future(a) few years. The first , Dilanton, did nothing for me. The second, Tegratoal, was killing my white blood cells which make me extremely sick. The third , Depekot, worked, but with it came some nasty side affects, and I was still having seizures two to three times a week. I became dismay after a year of having seizures and being told by many doctors that they didnt know what was causing it. The doctors also didnt know how to treat it.I missed a lot of school my sophomore and junior year, which w as why my grades werent what I wanted them to be. My teachers harped at me about not acquire my work done. They didnt understand. I also got a lot of unknown looks from people when I walked down the hall. Most of my seizures happened during school. I cant be positive about when my depression began to reach a climax. by chance it was when my mom and her boyfriend would yell and scream at each other about how they were going to pay for all the hospital expenses. Or by chance it was all those nights lying in bed listening to my mom cry. some(prenominal) the reason(s), I developed the mindset that I was causing my family all this pain, that it was my fault, I would never get into college, so it would be best if I wasnt most anymore. I felt other no emotion except sadness. I felt as if I were walking in a different dimension. I could see and hear people, but nothing anyone said do any difference to me. Nothing seemed to matter anymore. The world no overnight had any color in it it was all black and white this is what I saw.I thought about how much better life would be for everyone if I were gone.